Because I've had more than a few "rainy days" lately, I thought I'd share one of the writing exercises from treatment that's meant to be reread in times when you're not feeling well and are struggling to cope. It's a letter offering support and guidance from your strong, calm, and wise self to your vulnerable, lonely, hurting self.
Things to include in your own "note to self": what helps you feel better at particularly difficult times, what has helped you keep on keepin' on in the past, guidance on what to do and what distraction techniques you can use, advice on what NOT to do, and reminders of your personal strengths and resources. Be compassionate, caring, supportive, understanding, and encouraging. Your vulnerable self needs your love!
Dear weak, sad, lonely, anxious Vera:
Believe it or not, things WILL get better. Remember the cliche: This too, shall pass. I know you feel horrible right now, but that is the key: right now.
Do not let yourself be swayed to the kitchen. Do not think that eating will fill you up. Food is not the remedy for a broken soul and an empty spirit. But, if you do get pulled in, know that IT IS OK. You do not need to purge. Eating, in and of itself, is not a "bad" thing. You have done nothing "wrong". Your body needs food to repair itself after exercise, to be healthy and strong, and to fuel your mind. Eating is not a crime and there is nothing that should make you feel guilty and ashamed.
We have been down this painful road so many times. Remember: We KNOW that this will pass. It's all a matter of time. It may feel impassable, insurmountable, hopeless, and helpless in the moment, but it is not. We will get through this together.
What to do when you reach the breaking point and there's not a single thing that will make it all better?
1. Draw on your creative powers and write. No matter the subject, let it flow and just write.
2. Take a walk. Grab the kid and the dog and just GO.
3. Breathe. Be mindful.
4. Stretch your body and give yourself permission to relax.
Know that you can beat this. You are strong, you are beautiful, and you are too smart to hurt yourself.
Love,
Vera
Now, how do you go about making yourself believe it? That's the hard part.
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Thanks for commenting, but please remember that I'm being honest here, both with myself and my readers. I expect you to be honest, but please be kind, too. This is a tough journey and it's hard to admit a lot of things, even anonymously. Mutual respect!
xoxo,
Vera